I haven’t done any creativity in a while and I wanted to make an OaE background for my PS3, so here is an image in the spirit of easter! This is my first time drawing Cowga the chinchilla in Photoshop. Full size is 1080p!
-tim
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Greetings, friends. We’re reporting on Superbowl XLVI LIVE with commercial descriptions and reviews, major game happenings, and hilarious color commentary. Commercials will be rated on a scale of -5 to 5 Chinchillas, where -5 Chinchillas is the worst and 5 Chinchillas is the best.
Positive chinchilla: 
No chinchillas: 
Negative chinchilla: 
Teams
The New York Giants will be playing against the New England Patriots. We are watching some celebrity bowling before the game.
Andy: This is better than the Super Bowl.
National Anthem
The National Anthem is being sung by Kelly Clarkson.
Melisa: She didn’t mess it up so that’s good.
First Commercial Break
Movie trailer from the creator of Borat- the Dictator
2 Chinchillas
Andy: Shooting other people at a tracdk meet is awesome.
Verizon Droid
-5 Chinchilla
Corporado Menswear (Old Navy)
-5 Chinchillas
McDonald’s House Chairities
-5 Chinchillas
Hyundai Genesis
-5 Chinchillas
We know they haven’t stepped it up yet
NBC Olympics shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchilla
Andy: In my opinion, winter Olympics are superior to summer Olympics (because curling)
Coin Toss
The coin toss determines the winner of the game. New York calls tails. It is heads, so New York will lose (noooo).
Andy: Let’s turn it off. You guys want to watch the Puppy Bowl?
2nd Commercial Break
People in factory/office doing Rocky Theme with their voices (Hyundai)
-4 Chinchillas
Super Bowl promo
(not sure if counts)
Kickoff to Giants
Giants Punt
3rd Commercial Break
Bud Light Platinum
“We believe in turning gold into platinum”
-5 Chinchillas
Audi headlights killing vampires
Audi LED headlights
3 Chinchillas
Intentional Grounding – AUTOMATIC SAFETY
Giants: 2, Patriots: 0
HAH!
4th Commercial Break
Elton John king, girl sings R-E-S-P-E-C-T to get Pepsi, opens trap door under Elton John… Pepsi for all?
Athena: Tim, write “dumb”
-4 Chinchillas
Wait! Flava Flav! Added points
-1 Chinchilla
NBC shameless self-promotion
Danny: Waste of commercial time!
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Drop-kickoff to Giants. Giants drive to red zone. Melisa made marshmallows dipped in chocolate and then crushed graham crackers! GENIUS.
Forced fumble, but Patriots had 12 men on the field.
Tim: Look, the Patriots are trying to cheat already!
Andy: Wow. This is professional football. This should NEVER happen.
Touchdown Giants! Extra point is good.
Score: Giants 9, Patriots 0.
Andy: It’s safe to say this game is off to a fantastic start.
5th Commercial Break
Bud Light Platinum at a club or something
-5 Chinchillas
M&M sees brown M&M, things she is naked and takes his candy shell off and dances
2 Chinchillas
People created things for phones, Best Buy has carriers
-5 Chinchillas
NBC shameless self-promotion: Celebrity Apprentice
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Kickoff to Patriots.
6th Commercial Break
Coca-Cola polar bears. One bear’s paw are frozen together, gets straw
Chevy Silverado driving through post-apocalyptic world. Dave drove a Ford and didn’t make it.
Bonus points for including Twinkies (assuming it’s a reference Zombieland)
0 Chinchillas
Halftime show promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
7th Commercial Break
Bridgestone football made from tire technology. Football curves, Dion Sanders doesn’t like it
-3 Chinchillas
Godaddy: model in bodypaint
-5 Chinchillas
Lexus drives though wall
UNLIKELY
-5 CHinchillas
Battleship: The movie
Danny: This actually looks pretty good
-5 Chinchillas
Giants defensive player gets hit in the face mask by ball. Patriots kick field goal
Score: Giants 9, Patriots 3
8th Commercial Break
Old timey, people excited about Budweiser delivery. Delivering great times since 1876
-4 Chinchillas
Dog buries cat, offers Doritos “You didn’t see nothin’”
4 Chinchillas
College graduate thinks he is receiving a car, gets really excited. It’s actually the neighbor’s
-4 Chinchillas
Kickoff to Giants
9th Commercial Break
Factory worker interviews turbine manufacturer
Garth: Is this a GE commercial for a Budweiser commercial.
Garth: Imagination at work… from everyone drinking on the job.
-5 Chinchillas
John Carter movie?
-5 Chinchillas
Kid sees peeing statue, needs to pee. Lots of places closed, jumps into pool and pees. TaxAct.com
2 Chinchillas
NBC shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Giants player is injured, knee?
10th Commercial Break
The Lorax movie
-4 Chinchillas
Dog can’t fit through doggie door, exercises more and doesn’t eat snacks. New VW Beetle.
1 Chinchilla
Darth Vader and pig-like-nosed patrons? Also VW?
-5 Chinchillas
NBC shameless self-promotion: America’s Got Talent
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
11th Commercial Break
David Beckam underwear at H&M
Mike: boo man ass
-5 Chinchillas
Coca-Cola bear catches on ice, starts to slide, lots of fumbling to save the Coca Cola bottle
Mike: Coke commercial = lame
-2 Chinchillas
Giants player out due to torn ACL
Giants punt. Excellent coffin corner kick!
12th Commercial Break
Chevy Sonic. Real stunts. Do not attempt. Cars doing jumps and stuff! Giant skateboard!
David: I saw an interview after he did this stunt. They said, “Will you do it again?” He said, “Nope.”
Mike: So can the chevy sonic also handle a commute or only stunts?
2 Chinchillas
Star War: Phantom Menace re-release in 3D
Ken: Screw Lucasfilm EVERYTHING
-5 Chinchillas
PIZZA IS HERE. 2 minute warning
13th Commercial Break
Marvel Avengers
I sHawkeye in it? Because if hawkeye isn’t in it, it’s not worth it.
-5 Chinchillas
teleflora flowers, Adriana Lima for some reason
-5 CHinchillas
Dog wears shoes in race (non greyhound vs greyhounds)! Stops and moonwalks across finish line. Good up until the moonwalk?
Mike: that commercial was already better because it had a dog in shoes
3 Chinchillas
NBC shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Guy at car dealer with singing second head “…that’s my confidence”
Karen: That’s scary
Mike: dont go on cars.com or you will get an extra head
-3 Chinchillas
Fumble? No. Elbow was down.
14th Commercial Break
Kid taunting because he has Doritos and is at top of swing set. Old lady launches kid in bouncy swing to get Doritos.
Melisa: I did not like that one bit.
-4 Chinchillas
etrade baby talking. Other baby at nursery “I’m speed dating!”
-5 Chinchillas
G.I. Joe movie
-5 Chinchillas
Announcer: He is not a normal human being, blah blah blah
David: Funny thing is, he IS a normal human being, he just has better training and athleticism.
Patriots touchdown. Extra point is good.
Score: Giants 9, Patriots 10
Andy: This game sucks now.
Tim: What were they thinking?
Patriots squib kick. Big hit at return. Giants kneel to run out remaining few seconds on the clock.
David: We might not all realize it, but Kraft cheese is the big winner here.
15th Commercial Break
Guy in bathtub of gold coins, other blingy things for others. NFL millionaire fantasy game.
-5 Chinchillas
hhgregg old/regular commercial
Tim: BOOOOO
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Powerball
-5 Chinchillas
Calorie labels. Deliveringchoices.org
-5 Chinchillas
Central DuPage Hospital / Cadence / children’s hospital (local commercial)
-5 Chinchillas
HALFTIME (no commercial breaks count until the game starts again)
Madonna is singing songs and things. We were surprised and thought it wasn’t bad!
Christina Aguilera action movie-type thing (with others), Betty White happy that someone wants her for her voice, not her body
Andy: I’d do Betty White just to say I did it
-3 Chinchillas
Kickoff to Patriots
Someone: She’s never had Jell-O shots!
Melisa: I have a recipe for wine shots.
Garth: “Pour wine into shot glass.”
Patriots touchdown. Extra point is good.
Score: Giants 9, Patriots 17
16th Commercial Break
NBC shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
House monster trucks racing (old commercial)
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Four seasons / Mitsubishi… kind of racy! (Local commercial)
-5 Chinchillas
Jimmy John’s old commercial
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Giants field goal, bounces from left upright but is good!
17th Commercial Break
Woman catches man looking at him, slaps him and seduces him. BUT THEN it was a… Fiat?
-1 Chinchilla
Coke truck driver buys Pepsi Zero, Regis Philbin
Mike: ok that was about 2-3 chinchillas
Tim: 0 Chinchillas
Nothing happens? Maybe 30 seconds of non-advertising time
18th Commercial Break
Baby with control panel, guy gets skinny when wet? Toyota?
-3 Chinchillas
Polar Bear upset for some reason, gets Coca Cola
-5 Chinchillas
John Stamos teases woman by not feeding her yogurt, gets headbutted and then she eats the yogurt
David: Whoa! Stamos just got knocked out!
1 Chinchilla
NBC shameless self-promotion? Nope, actually Century 21
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Nothing happens again! Maybe 30 seconds of non-advertising time (Someone is injured?)
19th Commercial Break
Jerry Seinfeld offering things (Soup Nazi, last living munchkin, alien, fast boat) for First Acura NSX. Jay Leno offers jetpack flying squirrel suit. “HA HA HA HA!”
3 Chinchillas
GE something. BORING
-5 Chinchillas
A few plays.
20th commercial break
“Great times are always waiting” “Grab some Buds” Lots of music
-5 Chinchillas
Bridgestone tire tech in basketball. Guy bouncing ball around baby in carrier without waking baby. With Steve Nash.
-4 Chinchillas
$1M fantasy contest (abbv.)
-5 Chinchillas
NBC shameless self-promotion: the voice
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Giants pass, ball stripped, recovered by Giants.
Giant field goal. Score: Giants 15, Patriots 17
No commercial break!
Other things happen.
21st Commercial Break
Football evolution, includes lots of Bears being awesome. Localized version? Obviously no because the Bears are the best.
1 Chinchilla
Jerry Seinfeld NSX repeat
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Kicked football breaks things. Chase bank
Andy: This is just copying the Korn video for Freak On A Leash
-5 Chinchillas
American Family Insurance – regular commercial
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Giant intercept pass in the red zone (thrown from ~40 yard line).
Later play, fumble & Giants recover.
22nd Commercial Break
Matthew Broderick calls in sick but does things all day – Ferris Beuller’s Day Off reference (Honda CR-V)
2 Chinchillas (only good because references movie)
Act of Valor movie
-5 Chinchillas
Cartoons walking in fields. MetLife
-5 Chinchillas
NBC shameless self-promotion: Smash
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Another Giants injury? Injury timeout.
Andy: So he’s dead.
Garth: They’re just going to shoot him.
23rd Commercial Break
Hyundai Genesis, choppy driving
-5 Chinchillas
Rescue dog named “Here we go” – dog gets Bud Light for lots of people including rolling a keg by walking on it backwardswise
3 Chinchillas
Giants burn 2nd timeout because of bad time management. Then, false start! Giants lose 5 yards anyway. Possible pass interference but not called. Giants punt.
24th Commercial Break
KIA optima, 80s band and women in bikinis
-4 Chinchillas
Monkeys bothering businessman. careerbuilder
-3 Chinchillas
NBC thursdays, guy has to turn crank to keep people in room with power
Automatic -5 Chinchillas (-4 otherwise)
25th Commercial Break
Samsung mini tablet thing that makes you have to use a pen! Oh boy! The Darkness and… Brain Urlacher?
Mike: Dear Samsung, no one liked using a stylus. Welcome to 1998
Dave: Poor Brian Urlacher
-3 Chinchillas (maybe more bonus for The Darkness)
NBC shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchillas
Announcer 1: Walker makes that catch 100 times out of 100
Announcer 2: That must have been the 101st
Patriots punt.
Coach’s challenge on a pass caught by Giants called good, after review is still good.
2-minute warning.
26th Commercial Break
Cadillac ATS developed at the Nurburgring.
-5 Chinchillas
Swamp People (about people that work in the swamp) on History Channel
-5 Chinchillas
GoDaddy, see more online
-5 Chinchillas
NBC shameless self-promotion:
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
Giants in red zone with 1:09 left on clock.
Andy: I’m finally getting nervous about the game
Giants touchdown – player delayed, turns around, and falls butt first into end zone (like onto a chair).
Giants go for 2pt conversion – no good.
Score: Giants 21, Patriots 17 (57 seconds left in play clock)
Kickoff to Patriots
Patriots miss 2 passes and get sacked! YESS 4th down.
1st down Patriots, Giants later penalized with 12 men on the field. 5 seconds remain
Last play is a Hail Mary to the end zone… Giants win!
Final score: Giants 21, Patriots 17
27th (bonus) Commercial Break
NBC sports network
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
SmartLash Eyelash enhancer thing at Dermstore.com
-5 Chinchillas
American Family Insurance (regular commercial)
Automatic -5 Chinchillas
U.S. Cellular wireless
-5 Chinchillas
Value City Furniture 10% off with dancing Abraham Lincoln
-5 Chinchillas
I’d like to thank Melisa & Andy for hosting, and for use of Ubuntu box to write this post.
-tim
[ 4 Comments ]
Squirrel week is coming to a close, and only a handful of finals remain. Things are looking up and we just got some snow out here! Pack your bags, and take a rest:
Yee-up, you can have your nine-to-five behind a desk. Give me the open road — Waylon Jennings on the 8-track, a semi full of walnuts to haul to Boise, catching a quick meal at the rest stop… Man, that’s the life for me.
source: Zachary E / cuteoverload.com, “Breaker, Brealer, Li’l Buddy”
-tim
p.s. check out this awesome list of screw drives on wikipedia
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Squirrels are excellent meteorologists:
(skip to 2:10-ish to hear about their winter weather predicting ability – note that this video doesn’t actually have any visual representation of squirrels aside from the poster frame)
I am going to post another item tonight because this was less squirrely than it should be.
-tim
edit: as promised
source: Kai Schreiber aka Genista of flickr fame
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